Richard Caryl Haskins

August 11, 2011
the day i wished had never come.




I was the only one with my grandpa the night he passed away.

I was holding his hand and I was pushing back his hair. For some reason I decided to check his pulse and it was there. He was incoeherant by then and peacefully sleeping but I knew that he could still hear me. I realized that now was my chance to tell him how much I loved him and how thankful I was that he was such a big part of my life and that i wouldn’t be the person I was today with out him. With my heart breaking i told him that it was okay to go because I knew that he would always be with me. And for another reason that I cant explain I checked his pulse after and It wasn’t there.

As terrifying and as hard as that experience was, I wouldn’t have wanted it to happen any other way. We were so close and I know that there was a reason that I was there with him that night comforting him as he went.

I found this poem and it couldn't be more perfect:


To my dearest family, some things Id like to say.
But first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.
I'm writing this from heaven.
Here I dwell with God above.
Here, theres no more tears of sadness;
Here is just eternal love.

Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight.
Remember that I am with you every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through.
God picked me up and hugged me and He said, I welcome you.
Its good to have you back again, you were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family, They'll be here later on.

I need you here so badly, you are part of my plan.
There is so much that we can do, to help our mortal man.
God gave me a list of things, that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you.
And when you lie in bed at night the days chores put to flight.
God and I are closest to you....in the middle of the night.

When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years.
Because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry; it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.
I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned.
If I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand.

But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is over.
I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before.
There are rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb;
But together we can do it by taking one day at a time.
It was always my philosophy and Id like it for you too;
That as you give unto the world, the world will give to you.

If you can help somebody who is in sorrow and pain;
Then you can say to God at night....My day was not in vain.
And now I am contented... that my life was worthwhile.
Knowing as I passed along the way I made somebody smile.
So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low;
Just lend a hand to pick them up, as on your way you go.

When you're walking down the street and you've got me on your mind;
I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind.
And when its time for you to go...from that body to be free.
Remember you're not going...you're coming here to me.



i miss you so much pappa but i know your in a better place and that you are watching down on our family. i cant wait for the day that i get to see you again. thank you for being my best friend.
i love you.