Monday, August 29, 2011

Richard Caryl Haskins

August 11, 2011
the day i wished had never come.

I was the only one with my grandpa the night he passed away.

I was holding his hand and I was pushing back his hair. For some reason I decided to check his pulse and it was there. He was incoeherant by then and peacefully sleeping but I knew that he could still hear me. I realized that now was my chance to tell him how much I loved him and how thankful I was that he was such a big part of my life and that i wouldn’t be the person I was today with out him. With my heart breaking i told him that it was okay to go because I knew that he would always be with me. And for another reason that I cant explain I checked his pulse after and It wasn’t there.

As terrifying and as hard as that experience was, I wouldn’t have wanted it to happen any other way. We were so close and I know that there was a reason that I was there with him that night comforting him as he went.

I found this poem and it couldn't be more perfect:

To my dearest family, some things Id like to say.
But first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.
I'm writing this from heaven.
Here I dwell with God above.
Here, theres no more tears of sadness;
Here is just eternal love.

Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight.
Remember that I am with you every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through.
God picked me up and hugged me and He said, I welcome you.
Its good to have you back again, you were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family, They'll be here later on.

I need you here so badly, you are part of my plan.
There is so much that we can do, to help our mortal man.
God gave me a list of things, that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you.
And when you lie in bed at night the days chores put to flight.
God and I are closest to the middle of the night.

When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years.
Because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry; it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.
I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned.
If I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand.

But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is over.
I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before.
There are rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb;
But together we can do it by taking one day at a time.
It was always my philosophy and Id like it for you too;
That as you give unto the world, the world will give to you.

If you can help somebody who is in sorrow and pain;
Then you can say to God at night....My day was not in vain.
And now I am contented... that my life was worthwhile.
Knowing as I passed along the way I made somebody smile.
So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low;
Just lend a hand to pick them up, as on your way you go.

When you're walking down the street and you've got me on your mind;
I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind.
And when its time for you to go...from that body to be free.
Remember you're not're coming here to me.

i miss you so much pappa but i know your in a better place and that you are watching down on our family. i cant wait for the day that i get to see you again. thank you for being my best friend.
i love you.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

"we must hurt in order to grow, fail in order to know,and loose in order to gain. because some lessons in life, are best learned through pain"

from now on out im taking this summer for me.
im taking time to become closer with my family and to be there for them through the struggles.
im taking time to let my friendships grow and to be there for every one of them
im taking time to make some new hobby's and changing certain aspects of my life.
im taking time to let my testimony grow stronger
and im taking time to become a better me


Saturday, May 21, 2011

cruise cruise cruise

Last week i went on a cruise to the bahamas with my dad and my sister, and can i tell you it was a freakin blast! I'd never been on a cruise before and wow i was blown away by how massive the ship was! it was seriously a party for 5 days straight. so fun.
the first day on the boat, there was a crazy strom. so windy, pouring rain, and a great thunder and lightning storm. so we just explored the 11 floors, ate delish food, and watched the storm

The next day was another day at sea, the weather was getting a little bit better the sun came out for a while and it was just beautiful. at dinner that night they made everyone get up and dance and they put on "get low" haha lets just say that was the best dinner!

That night was the captains ball, where everyone has to dress formal and there's a million pictures being taken, high quality ones... ha and there's dancing and its quite a blast. take note of my dad's sandals with dress socks..?

the next morning we woke up and we were in half moon cay. population 28. wait what? yes this is true, the island is owned by carnival cruise line and it literally is in the shape of a half of a moon. the water is crystal clear, perfect temperature, nummy drinks to sip on and the hairiest man in a speedo to look at. true fact.

Following morning we woke up and we were in Nassau! remember the Mary Kate and Ashley movie "Holliday in the sun" ya i freakin loved that movie. i wanna watch it again. anyways the hotel they stay at.. Atlantis. ya i was obsessed with that place and have wanted to go there ever since i saw that movie. and oh my gosh. like every single person in this world needs to go there. its seriously incredible!! i thought that it only had like those 2 slides to go down and like i was just most excited to walk around and see the place and go on those 2 slides. and like i was in for a major treat! they have soo many more slides and fun crazy rapids to go on like i wish i could explain it better but it seriously was the greatest place ever!

who knew lightning in the distance would make your hair stand up crazy like that! these ladys were laughing so hard they wanted to get our picture hah

the last day on the boat was another day at sea, and it was full of laying out, sunburning, drinks, books, mini golf and lots of food! such a fun vacation! loved spending some quaitly time with my sis and my dad

and my favorite part of the trip...... the towel animals they leave in your room everynight!!! ahhh im so obsessed with them! who wouldnt be they are presh.

im a nerd i know

Sunday, March 6, 2011

rissa sue

This week was the best week ever!
rissa sue came in town and we got to play all week and weekend!
we went to the movies, ate lots of nummy food, made music videos, and laughed till we cried
its crazy how we met just a couple months ago yet i feel like ive known her my whole life!
i look up to this girl like crazy.
i miss living 2 mins away from her
i love my bff

Sunday, February 27, 2011


St. George... oh how i miss you so much right now. i miss oneL. i miss staying awake all night and sleeping during the day. i miss the sunshine and the warm weather. i miss going 4 wheeling. i miss going hot tubbing every night. i miss our adventures. i miss being best friends with the cops. i miss laying out at the pool everyday.i miss our adventures up in cedar city. i miss laughing so hard i pee my pants. i miss dixie rock. i miss eating only nutella and bananas. i miss all of our vacations we took. i miss our slumber parties in the front room. i miss caving. i miss skyping room to room. i miss it all. most of all i miss always being with my best friends.